Let’s take a break from my discussions of literary theory and celebrate the upcoming Star Wars trailer that, supposedly, will be shown in select theatres. Let’s look into my long list of Star Wars superlatives. Yes, I have determined Star Wars superlatives. Yes, everyone is going to disagree with me. But I will fight you on it. That’s what being a nerd is. So let’s begin our look at … Star War’s “Worst/Best Title”. Going in chronological order:
The Phantom Menace : While strange and not at all useful as an indicator of plot, this title does make sense after you’ve seen the film, and have had some time to think it over. The ‘Phantom Menace’ is, I assume, the Sith – Sidious specifically. So it actually is helpful, assuming that you already know what the series is about and are prepared to think of it as a metaphor. Which is a lot of work for a title.
Attack of the Clones : It is tempting to call this the worst title of the series, for the simple fact that, before going into the films, no one had any idea what the hell the ‘clones’ were supposed to be. And you only find out half way through the film. So it’s a spoiler that doesn’t even work because you don’t understand what is being spoiled for you. Rather impressive really.
Revenge of the Sith : This wins as best title, in my opinion. Because do you know what happens here: the Sith get their revenge. Yep, that’s the actual plot of the film. And you totally knew that going into it, so it doesn’t tell you anything you weren’t already excited for. Sidious gets some serious revenge in this film – after all, how can you defeat your enemies more than eliminating them almost entirely, and turning their golden boy into a child slaying evil plastic man? Awesome
A New Hope: This film was originally released without this as the subtitle, since it wasn’t always intended to be billed as the first in the trilogy. So it can’t really be blamed for how lame it is. Really though, you’re calling Luke Skywalker the new hope. Desperate times man.
Empire Strikes Back: Second most useful title, only losing points for the fact that it is less the Empire doing the striking and more Darth Vadar. On another note, this film wins as biggest waste of time.
Return of the Jedi : Jedi? Really? You’re calling Luke Skywalker, who has gotten like 10 minutes of training from Obi Wan and a clearly mental Yoda, a Jedi? And even ignoring that, he’s the only one there. The Jedi are hardly returning. It’s just this one guy.
To end this very important discussion, I bring you to the title of the seventh film in the series: The Force Awakens. Do I even need to say anything about this? I mean, why was the Force not there? I thought Luke was supposed to be a Jedi. Are the new films going to be an interesting look into the nature of the Force? Or is this just whatever JJ Abrams and the writing gang could come up with. I despair.
Tune in next time for when I talk about something completely different. Star Wars Superlatives will return some other time.
kateapaulo 
Interesting that the two titles that are the most useful are the ones that are the most specific to the Star Wars universe. The Empire Strikes Back is a good subtitle for a Star Wars movie because you know who the Empire is, and what they’re striking back against, and what its in retaliation for. But I’d say its not a great movie title, same with Revenge Of The Sith. They’re both responses. Its like calling a movie “And He Punched Me In The Face”, its the second half of a story. Unless its the sequel to a movie called “I Spilled My Beer On Him”, it just feels odd.
But something like “Attack Of The Clones” or “The Phantom Menace” are good generic movie titles. I know what clones are, I know what attacking is. I know what menacing is, and I’ve got a general idea of what a phantom might be.
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You bring up an interesting point: the good ones, in my opinion, are the ones that give a sense of chronology. Perhaps because they’re always thought of as a series? The ones with the active titles also feel more interesting: I’d rather hear about ‘attacking’ than ‘new-hope’ing. But I totally disagree about “Attack of the Clones” and “Phantom Menace” – they’re very cop out-ish. “Phantom Menace” doesn’t really commit to anything, other than being obscure. And “Attack of the Clones” is just absurd. It’s like if the next Hunger Games film was called “Dinosaur Attack”: why would you want to see that? (I’d totally want to see that, but that’s not the point). I’d find it pretty confusing, considering there are no dinosaurs in those films. What is even happening? And why did you spoil a potentially brilliant twist of Peeta coming into view atop a giant Stegosaurus. Wasted potential
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